Dr. MJ Bazos MD,
At the time of the
- Reassure your child that both you and his other
parent still love him.
- Make sure your child knows that she is not the
cause of the separation.
- Help your child understand that the separation is
final. She needs to know that there is nothing that she can do to change it.
- Keep your child’s daily routine as
consistent as possible.
- Reassure your child that he will visit the other
- Be open to your child’s painful feelings.
Don’t let bad or disruptive behaviour go too far. Help your child talk
about any anger, fear or sadness.
- Don’t speak negatively to your child about
the other parent, his or her extended family, or friends. If you are still
angry, find a supportive friend or counsellor to talk to about your feelings.
- Do not suggest, either with words or actions,
that your child is disloyal if he enjoys time with the other parent.
- Be polite when your child is picked up or dropped
off. If you smile and have him ready on time, it may help him cope with the
- Make sure your child is clean, well rested and
fed when he is on his way to a visit or returning home after a visit. It’s
best not to send a suitcase of dirty clothes.
- Let your child talk to the other parent on the
- Support your child, and respect reasonable limits
set by her other parent.
- Don’t ask your child for information about
the other parent’s activities, friends or income.
- Discuss visitation arrangements with the other
parent before you suggest a plan to your child. Confirm with the other parent
visitation arrangements for teenagers.
- It is best not to discuss divorce disputes with
your child. Don’t let your child hear you discussing any differences of
opinion with the other parent.
- Never falsely accuse the other parent of any form
of child abuse.
- Make sure you give important medical information
to the other parent.
- If your child does not want to go to school or
seems not to want to visit the other parent, she may be concerned about your
well-being. Make sure your child knows that you are well.